Good News! Blackwater Will Save the Economy and Buy Big Wall Street Firms

Blackwater is rolling in so much cash that it's going to join the shadowy Carlyle Group and buy out big Wall Street firms in a power grab designed to refloat the US economy, a foil-hat blogger is claiming.

According to the foil hatter, Blackwater and the Carlyle Group almost bought Washington Mutual, the big failed bank, and that the news was on Bloomberg but after a few hours mysteriously disappeared. "Think about that," says the blogger: "the world's largest private military force has made enough money on the war in Iraq to buy one of the largest banks in the US as it fails." The blogger then made a couple references to male private parts and some inferences that we don't understand.

Oh, My! Cajun Singer Says Blackwater Helped Execute Thousands of Americans After Katrina

Not to be outdone by Jeremy Scahill, a Cajun blues singer named Tab Benoit says Blackwater helped execute 5,000 Americans following Hurricane Katrina in 2005 - and Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney says she's been withholding information about the single-shot-to-the-head killings of the same number of people.

McKinney doesn't blame Blackwater (see video), but her supposed revelation is good enough for some Foil Hatters to put on the Internet as proof that our favorite private security company was behind the deed that the media is supposedly covering up.